Who says help is easy to get

I am beginning to love blogging. This place allows me to share my inner most thoughts that sometimes, i find it hard to express verbally.

I was watching "Shall we dance" on cable last evening. For those who didn't manage to catch the show while it was screening in theatres, it speaks of a lonely office worker, jaded with his mundane lifestyle & turned to ballroom dancing to seek solace. Strangely, the character has a close knitted family, 2 lovely grown-up kids & a not-too-bad career. Why was he "lonely"? I suppose this's the irony in life that i am beginning to face lately.

A close classmate (whom i constantly partner to do projects with) popped me this question a couple of days ago "Ask some of your friends to help you. I am sure there are folks around you that knows your likes/ dislikes." Actually, i don't find it easy to get help at all. With Kanglin far far away, I often feel that there's no one for me to turn to for some advice, opinions & sometimes, even basic decision-making is difficult. I value his opinions & he often view issues from a different perspective than i do. I confide alot in him & well, as the saying goes "your lover is your best friend".

I also can't expect friends to source for wedding vendors for u, run errands with you, check out wedding vendors (review profiles, check rates & availabilities, shortlist, price compare etc). Afterall, everyone has their own lives to lead. I also don't believe it's fair to impose such troubles on them. Those that are already married would have gone thru these hassles too & those who aren't bounded by holy matrimony will probably find it hard to understand the nitty gritties involved.

Maybe it's easy to be mistaken as a "perfectionist" but i am just trying to struggle thru the nitty gritties. The next semester will be my last in NTU. I have 3 modules to battle (that's translated to 6 term projects). Honestly, i am so fearful that i won't be able to manage. I push myself very hard & often dream of reaping sweet success at the finishing line. I don't forsee i'd have time for wedding preps next semester hence, trying to firm up everything as early as i can. I don't wanna end up stressful, tired & burnt out. Some might say "focus on the marriage & not the event" but well, i am not! I am just trying to push thru the necessary to get the event going.